There was once a wise Jew, who said that everything boils down to you have in your head.

His name was Moses

After him came a second wise Jew, who said that everything boils down to what you have in your heart.

His name was Jesus

After him came a third wise Jew, who said that everything boils down to what you have in the stomach.

His name was Marx

After him came a fourth wise Jew who said that everything boils down to what you have between the legs.

His name was Freud

And finally came the wisest of them all. His name was Einstein and he said that everything is relative.

After creating heaven and earth God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was:

“DON’T!”

“Don’t what?” Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.

“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey … Eve, we have forbidden fruit!”

“No way!”
“Yes way!”

“Do NOT eat the fruit!” said God.

“Why?”
Because I am your Father and I said so!” God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped creating after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked.

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God asked.

“Uh huh” Adam replied.
“Then why did you?” said the Father.

“I don’t know” said Eve.

“She started it!” said Adam.
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“Did not!”

Courtesy: tempesthole.com/blog/page/2/

Having had it with the two of them God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

But there is reassurance in the story.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
1.  You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2.  Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.

3.  Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4.  Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

5.  The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6.  We childproof our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

If you havea lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
Take two aspiring and “keep away from children”.

PS. If you think you know someone who could benefit from this lesson, let them have this link

There may also be some new teachings – wisdom no one ever thought about before. This is the case with Noah’s Ark. The picture says it all, I hope. But other lessons can also be had from the story of Noah and the Ark. These you will find below.

THE WOODPECKER MAY HAVE TO GO!

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah’s Ark

1:    Don’t miss the boat.

2:    Remember that we are all in the same boat.

3: Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.

4:    Stay fit When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

5: Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6: Build your future on high ground.

7: For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

8: Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9: When you’re stressed, float a while.

10: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

11: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting

I did not make up these, but found them to the point. If you can think of other lessons from Noah’s Ark, please put them in the comments for all to see.